There are two things that I want people to know about my life:
- I wouldn’t wish it on anyone else.
- I. Love. It.
My third kid is due in December. Haven turns 3 in August. Ty just turned 1. And all three were planned.
“Why would you do that to yourself?!?!!” you wring your hands up in disbelief.
When I told my grandma, who had three kids in three years, her response was “What are you doing?”
Look, I graduated from high school four years ago. Damon and I got married July 26, 2013. It seems that waiting for “the right time” was never a strength for me. We were all “We’re gonna be responsible and wait!”
Then Haven came along.
“Well…haha. We’ll at least wait two years!”
Then Ty arrived when she was 19 months old.
“Oh my hell. Are we ever going to have kids again?”
And #3 is due in December. Why? Because I married a man who makes me want to defy that snarky sophomore girl who had dreams of becoming a CEO at 24. When I see Damon looking all sharp in his church clothes, I seriously just want to stay home, bake turnovers, and have 20 kids. Feminists everywhere are ripping their bras off in anger at my giving in to “the patriarchy”. I do want to work after I get my degree. I love working…
I still have two years till I get my bachelor’s degree. Two more years of living on student loans. Two more years of juggling school with babies.
There’s a huge difference between telling people that you’re expecting your first kid versus expecting your third kid. Everyone is ELATED when you announce the first. Sympathy and offers everywhere. Excitement. And allllllllllllll the advice. ALLLLLL. THE. ADVICE. After all, what do you know?
When you announce your third, which is more of a passing comment like “Oh, we’ve decided to try running this summer,” you’re met with silence. People simply don’t know what to say to you. Or they say the most encouraging thing that they can think of;
“Wow. You guys are getting it out of the way quick, huh?”
“That’s actually a smart idea. You’ll still be young when your kids move out.” (Thank you!)
Damon and I both come from big families. So our families kinda get it. Although, they’d probably, and did, recommend waiting on having more…OH WELL!
Kids are hard. I’m not doing this a third time because I think that it’s easy or fun. I’m typing with Ty nursing away, sprawled over my stomach. He was screaming for a good half hour straight before I finally threw him on the boob. Damon and I haven’t been able to function today because it’s finals week and our kids have been waking up at freakin’ weird times because of it. Seriously. Finals week is hell week. Last semester, Haven had vomiting and diarrhea for the entire week. Last night, Damon didn’t go to bed till 6. Ty woke up at 3 in the morning when I squirmed out of bed to go to the bathroom.
Oh yeah. I have no idea where baby #3 is going to go. I haven’t kicked either of my kids out of our bed yet. We’ll figure it out when we get there.
Most people who I know who have a kid in college have just one. Maybe a handful have two, but they’re either graduating in a semester or already graduated. I’m the only person who I know who is doing this.
Maybe call this a stupid philosophy for living, but the more good things that I can cram into my life, the less time I have for stupid crap. There’s no point in waiting to do more good things when you can do them right now.
And babies really only need 2 things:
- A boob to suck on.
- A diaper
Newborns are the easy stage. They sleep, make noises like baby goats, and eat. Aaaaand poop like 8 times a day. But still! It smells like popcorn, not the dumpster behind Cafe Rio. I’ve hardly bought any clothes for either of my kids because we get hand-me-downs and our moms can’t help themselves when they see a cute outfit at Target. ❤
Like I said, I know that this isn’t going to be easy. It’s already reeeeeally friggin hard. But having had two babies without pain medication and sitting by Ty’s side in the NICU for a week, plus everything else that I’ve been through in the last four years…hard things just don’t scare me anymore.
I’m excited to meet my new little person. You have two kids and think that you got the two opposites. But none of my six siblings are anything alike. Out of the 12 from Damon’s side and mine combined, we’re ALL incredibly different. I’m excited to see that new little face. I’m excited to see what makes them different.
Damon and I are tired all of the time. We’re not just jumping for joy throughout all of our challenges. We’re struggling to deal with two people who need us. We’re struggling to make them not need us all of the time. We’re both very human.
But I still wake up every morning thinking “Oh, thank God! It’s all still here!”
The principles of nature still apply. There will come a calm. For a few minutes, I can sit through the eye of the storm. Ty has fallen asleep on the boob. Haven is downstairs chatting with Damon while he cooks chicken for dinner. Things are okay right now.
Gratitude is the easiest things to give God. It also happens to be the ointment for every hardship that I’ve encountered. And even in you don’t believe in God, it seriously does wonders for your day when you can wake up and say,
“Wow. I’m one friggin lucky person.”